Home is Where the Heart Is

They always say that home is where the heart is, for our family it seems the heart has been needing a pacemaker. We just have so many things that have kept us feeling like we were not at "home" for a long time.

With all of the ups and downs we have had from my sons mental illness, my health issues and my daughters health problems from Lyme Disease we have had a feeling of darkness looming over us. When you give up everything including working a steady job in order to care fully for a special needs child, it really can really wear on you.

Most people can easily explain their "special needs" child, whether it is autism, a physical impairment or a learning disability, but when you have a child with bi-polar disorder it is not so easily explainable. When people see or hear about an outburst from my son, they like to give me advice especially because I am a single mother. People generally say he needs a firm hand, strong discipline, a father figure, a good "hard ass beating" or take everything away from him. The reality is that my son does not play video games, so I can't take those away..he rides his bike, it is therapeutic to him, so there is no way I am going to take that from him. The other problem, that most people have a difficult time understanding, is that the mood swings and outbursts he has had are not controllable, therefore, you cannot punish him for them. We just have had to get through those extreme difficult times with the assistance from God through much prayer, patience, hospitalizations, occasional law enforcement assistance and continually searching for the right health care provider. These are the details I never discuss with anyone but extremely close friends and family, but these are also the tings that people need to hear. Other parents of children like my son need to know they are not alone and other parents need to understand not to be so quick to judge someone because you never really know all the details. It is hard for parents like me and it is embarrassing too. With the more recent medical treatments my son has received and the fact that I have recently become eligible for some respite care for him, things are slowly becoming easier. He is looking forward to our new beginning in our new home. He has felt like a new kid with new opportunities!

My daughter has had a difficult time feeling at home for a long time as well. She has always had to walk on pins and needles with her all of the ups and downs her brother has created. She has worked so hard in her civic organization she is in, she works at D.Q. at only 14 years old, she studies hard for school and is in speech with her first competition  this weekend. I am proud of the person she is. She always thinks of other people, she has donated clothing to people in need rather than selling them for profit, she volunteers time, she has worked concessions at UNI for games and events since she was only 11 years old. She is an amazing young woman and it is so sad to see how sick she is from Lyme Disease. She still strives for excellence even though she is in pain. She, too, is excited for a fresh start in our new home. She has seen me have to sell our furniture and other belongings just to stay afloat. She understands the sacrifices we have had to make to try to get her brother the help he needs.

It just feels like everything is finally coming full circle! Things are moving along, my son is doing better everyday, my daughters illness has been identified and is being treated, we are moving to a new home that will be much more suitable to our family, everyone will have their own room and areas to feel comfortable to have friends visit and we will finally feel like we are home! Our hearts are beginning to feel whole and I truly believe through the Grace of God, we are going to know what it means to say Home is Where the Heart is!

What are your thoughts on the feeling you have on what feels like home and what doesn't? What are your reasons for the feeling of comfort and security?